Gaming Studio Replaces DEI Program with Young-Hee Doll

In what some describe a staggering over-correction, local area law firm Glassford & Sons terminated its diversity programs last week, and replaced them with the Young-Hee Doll from Netflix’s hit show Squid Game.

“We’re going back to a performance-based model,” said Christine Davies, Director of Human Resources for the company. “We also customized the doll to sing the hook from Bobby Fuller’s “I Fought the Law”, to keep things fun and thematically relevant.”

As of press time, the Young-Hee had “terminated” five employees, all of them minorities. “We were definitely surprised by the results,” said Davies. “We thought some of our disabled employees would also get bumped. But they made it. Good for them.”

“You adapt or die” said Noah Glassford, the company’s newest hire who also happens to be the Managing Partner’s nephew”. As a legacy hire, Noah is one of the few employees who did not have to participate in the company’s “restructuring efforts”.

Asked how he felt about getting spared the musical gauntlet he simply resplied: “I’m sure I would have crushed it. Pedigree is always a predictor of performance. Just ask Bronny.”