Ubisoft Executive Enters Animus to Access Genetic Memory of Competent Leadership
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” That’s what Pierre Rougeron told Ubisoft leadership before entering the company’s Animus…
Posted inIRL
Local Prospector Set for Life After Hitting Massive Vein of Pokémon Cards
CACHE CREEK, CO - Local prospector Alistair Coons is still in a state of shock after striking a…
Posted inGames
Gamer Unsure If Gorgeous, Compassionate, Totally OP Heroine Is The Right Partner for Him
SIOUX FALLS, SD — Local gamer Larry Burke was left confused and disoriented after his initial encounter with…
Steam About Broadcast Brad’s Love of Hentai Games to Entire Friend Group
Popular gaming platform Steam's privacy settings claimed another victim on Friday, as 17 year-old Bradley Smith booted up…
Posted inSci-Fi
Intrepid Spaceship Captain Reportedly Compensating For Tiny Penis
Sources inside Starfleet confirmed on Wednesday that the review board was considering putting Captain Brazz Michaels on administrative leave, following an incident during a routine transport mission in the Antaeus System.
Posted inFantasy
Witcher Writing Staff Unveils Medallions Able To Detect Fans Of Source Material
The writing staff for The Witcher TV show today unveiled their new matching medallions. Designed to mimic the pendants worn by actual Witchers, they vibrate and let out a high-pitched shriek when they sense that fans of the source material are near.
Posted inGames
Sandfall Interactive Acknowledges Lack of Diversity in Clair Obscur, Introduces New Villain “Renoi”
Sandfall Interactive announced on Tuesday that they will be updating the character model of their game's main antagonist, in an effort to make Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, a more inclusive experience.
Posted inIRL
Deeply Committed Actor Willing to Work Out For Millions of Dollars
If I can do it, anyone can," said Sacha Baron Cohen after revealing his newly ripped physique last week.
Posted inAnime
Dragon Ball Character Finally Named Something Sensible
In a bold creative move sure to send shockwaves through the Dragon Ball universe, Toei Animation has unveiled its newest character: Doorknob.
Posted inIRL
Musk’s New AI Waifu Is The Ultimate Grok Tease
Large swaths of men across the world swallowed their disappointment last Thursday, after realizing that their new AI…