SIOUX FALLS, SD — Local gamer Larry Burke was left confused and disoriented after his initial encounter with the fictional character Blonde Blazer, one of the protagonists in the hit workplace comedy game Dispatch.
Burke says he was caught off guard after the blonde bombshell saved his in-game character and offered him a life-altering opportunity while expecting relatively little in return. “She saved me from a pack of thugs, bought me drinks, took me to her special makeout spot, and let me spit in her mouth. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to react to that,” said Burke, who explained that his interactions with women – real or fictional – rarely include this level of compassion and positive reinforcement. “She just came across as super sus… No woman that hot is that nice for no reason, especially to men two inches shorter than them,” he added.
Burke’s comments echo similar sentiments from fellow male gamers who find the romantic dynamic with deuteragonist Invisigal much more believable. “She immediately insulted, punched, and screamed at me, so I knew I could trust her,” said one gamer.
Burke says he is now proceeding through the rest of the game with caution, choosing dialogue options designed to expose the monster lurking beneath Blazer’s veil of hotness and altruism. “I’m fully prepared for the inevitable betrayal,” he said. “A bunch of suckers are gonna be real surprised when she finally shows her true colors.”
