Bardswire - The Epic Lute of Satire

IRL

Long-Time Channel Viewer Absolutely Crushes Subscribe Button

In a move sure to leave a lasting impact on content creators everywhere, local accountant and father of…

Ben Gabriel May 8, 2026News

Games IRL

Ubisoft Executive Enters Animus to Access Genetic Memory of Competent Leadership

“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” That’s what Pierre Rougeron told Ubisoft leadership before entering the company’s Animus…

Ben Gabriel May 1, 2026News

IRL

Local Prospector Set for Life After Hitting Massive Vein of Pokémon Cards

CACHE CREEK, CO - Local prospector Alistair Coons is still in a state of shock after striking a…

Ben Gabriel April 28, 2026News

Games

Gamer Unsure If Gorgeous, Compassionate, Totally OP Heroine Is The Right Partner for Him

SIOUX FALLS, SD — Local gamer Larry Burke was left confused and disoriented after his initial encounter with…

Ben Gabriel April 26, 2026News

Anime IRL

Steam About Broadcast Brad’s Love of Hentai Games to Entire Friend Group

Popular gaming platform Steam's privacy settings claimed another victim on Friday, as 17 year-old Bradley Smith booted up…

Ben Gabriel September 29, 2025News

Games

WoW’s Midnight of Lore

After nearly a year away from retail WoW, I decided to take my elemental shaman for a spin…

Ben Gabriel September 7, 2025Opinion

Sci-Fi

Intrepid Spaceship Captain Reportedly Compensating For Tiny Penis

Sources inside Starfleet confirmed on Wednesday that the review board was considering putting Captain Brazz Michaels on administrative leave, following an incident during a routine transport mission in the Antaeus System.

Ben Gabriel August 24, 2025News

Fantasy

Witcher Writing Staff Unveils Medallions Able To Detect Fans Of Source Material

The writing staff for The Witcher TV show today unveiled their new matching medallions. Designed to mimic the pendants worn by actual Witchers, they vibrate and let out a high-pitched shriek when they sense that fans of the source material are near.

Ben Gabriel August 22, 2025News

Games

Sandfall Interactive Acknowledges Lack of Diversity in Clair Obscur, Introduces New Villain “Renoi”

Sandfall Interactive announced on Tuesday that they will be updating the character model of their game's main antagonist, in an effort to make Clair Obscur: Expedition 33, a more inclusive experience.

Ben Gabriel August 8, 2025News

IRL

Deeply Committed Actor Willing to Work Out For Millions of Dollars

If I can do it, anyone can," said Sacha Baron Cohen after revealing his newly ripped physique last week.

Ben Gabriel August 8, 2025News